


Starved

by N7rmandy



Category: Elder Scrolls Online
Genre: Admissions of Feelings, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Near Death Experiences, fennorian being dramatic, oh and theres also a dog, the usual, vampire theatrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:20:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25351528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/N7rmandy/pseuds/N7rmandy
Summary: (Prev. titled “Rescue”)A retelling a Fennorian’s rescue from Tzinghalis’s tower in which the main character offers Fenn a helping hand, he's forced to make a dangerous decision, and Lyris has to put up with them.
Relationships: Fennorian (Elder Scrolls)/Original Character(s), Fennorian (Elder Scrolls)/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 68





	Starved

**Author's Note:**

> Just played through the Greymoor chapter far too quickly and there's not enough Fennorian content to go around so I made my own

Tzinhalis’s machine was easy enough to shut down once the man himself was dead. But it wasn’t enough for Kassandra. After seeing the state that their vampire friend was in, after hearing his screams echo throughout the dwarven halls, Kassandra would be satisfied with nothing short of burning this whole place to the ground and destroying every last trace of these wretched machines. But a gentle reminder from Lyris stopped her. Fenn was hurt and getting him to safety was their top priority. Kassandra was reminded that despite her brutality in combat, Lyris truly had a gentle heart. 

As to be expected, Fenn was more concerned with the safety of Solitude than his own. He insisted that his friends leave him, but neither Kassandra nor Lyris would hear it. “Exarch Tzinghalis and Rada al-Saran spoke freely while they tortured me...” The vampire’s voice was strained, far flung from his usual polite tone. “They’re planning some sort of assault on Solitude. A massive harrowstorm...”

“Hey, hey, we can talk about that later, okay? Right now we need to focus on getting you out of here. Can you walk?” Kassandra always hated Fenn’s disregard for his own well-being. She hated the way he treated himself as lesser, despite everything he did to help people. So she would often go out of her way to prove him wrong, often much to the vampire’s chagrin. 

But for once it seemed he understood the gravity of his situation. He’d been mere seconds from death and if he couldn’t remedy his current state, he soon would be again. “I- I need blood... but I won’t drink from an unwilling person. In this state, even with a willing participant, I don’t trust my restraint. If only I had my flask...”

Kassandra looked back at Lyris, the two of them sharing a worried look. Fenn’s flask was likely somewhere in this tower, tossed aside with the rest of his belongings. Or, Divine’s forbid, it was all the way back in Dusktown, left behind when he was captured. 

Kassandra returned her attention to Fenn, trying not to let her worry show. “We’ll find your flask, Fenn. But it might take awhile. Do you think you can hang on a little bit longer?”

He closed his eyes a moment as if in pain, and merely nodded in response. He wouldn’t admit it out loud, but a part of him was grateful for his weakened state. Without blood, it may be the only thing preventing him from hurting someone if he lost control. But he knew better than to tell her that. Kassandra always had a knack for worrying about him. 

He snapped back to attention when he felt her hands on his arms, gently offering support. Her touch practically burned on his cold skin, even more so than normal. It drove his thirst even higher, but he couldn’t bring himself to ask her to let go. 

“Can you walk?” she asked, either unaware or simply unafraid of the dangers of being this close to the vampire right now. He simply nodded again and let her help him to his feet, stumbling as he did. He didn’t stop Kassandra when she lifted his arm onto her shoulders, wrapping her own around his waist to steady him. 

Lyris would’ve offered to take Kassandra’s place, what with her superior strength and all, but she knew Kassandra wouldn’t hear it. She’d always had a soft spot for Fenn. Lyris acted like she didn’t see how the two of them looked at each other or the way Kassandra would somehow steer the conversation to the vampire scholar when he wasn’t around. “Kas, you worry about getting him to the surface. I’ll dig around for his flask and see if I can turn up any evidence to bring back to the palace.” 

Fenn interjected before Kassandra could even respond. “I can’t go near Solitude. Not in this state. I won’t—“ Kassandra cut him off.

“We’ll make camp once we get out of here. We’re not going back to Solitude until you’re good and ready.” She didn’t even wait for a response before letting out a high pitched whistle. From the far corner of the room came running her wolf-dog, Aska, named for the soot-like color of her coat. “I know you’re not fond of Aska, but take take her with you, Lyris. She’s a good dog and she’ll help you find us later.” 

Despite her wild appearance, Aska was about the least aggressive dog you could ever meet, often to Lyris’s annoyance. But she could track with the best of them so Lyris hesitantly agreed and turned back to toward the entrance of the chamber, her furry companion in tow. 

Kassandra and Fenn made their way through Tzinghalis’s sanctum at a painfully slow place. In part because Fenn wanted to stop and search the place, though Kassandra insisted that Lyris would later. Unfortunately for Fenn, he wasn’t in much of a position to argue. 

A passageway brought them back to the entrance of the tower and that damned puzzle door that had taken Kassandra longer than she’d like to admit to solve. Perhaps if she’d had even a fraction of Fennorian’s smarts, she could’ve gotten to him sooner. Not that she was dumb by any means, but puzzles like this were much more Fenn’s forte than hers. There was no use dwelling on it now, however. Luckily, there was a lift close by that would bring them straight to the surface. 

Fenn could count his lucky stars once again, for upon reaching the surface he immediately noticed that the sun was well on its way beneath the horizon. There was barely a sliver of it left, meaning he had one less thing to worry about. The downside to that, however, was that the air had already grown quite cold, especially for the season. Skyrim was a frigid land on the best of days and today was definitely not one of those days. 

While he was generally unbothered by the cold, it only emphasized the heat radiating off of Kassandra’s body. He’d done his best to ignore it up until now but she was basically pressed up against him in their current stance and her touch felt even hotter than her fire spells, which Fenn had always been able to feel even at some distance away. If his thirst had been intense down in Blackreach, it was nigh unbearable now. He couldn’t remember the last time his restraint had been tested this much. 

“We should get away from here before we set up camp. Don’t want any of the Gray Host’s stragglers following us up here. Can you keep going?” Kassandra asked, her eyes skimming the horizon line for some sign of shelter. 

“Yes, I think I can manage.” Fenn agreed with her, of course, but truth be told he wasn’t actually sure how much further he could go. His vampiric strength was failing him and his legs felt stiff, as if they could give out at any moment. Soon Kassandra would practically be dragging him. How humiliating that would be. 

“Over there. That should keep us out of the wind and away from prying eyes.” Kassandra pointed toward a rocky overhang in the distance. Ideally, they would be able to get even further away from the entrance to Blackreach but in Fenn’s current state, travel really wasn’t much of an option. Kassandra was really beginning to regret not buying that horse the other day. _‘It’s too much work to take care of,’_ she’d said. _‘I’d just end up losing it somewhere,’_ she’d said. Maybe if she’d taken Lyris’s advice and bought the damn thing, she wouldn’t be having to haul her half-dead friend around in the freezing cold and dark right now (well, he was half-dead to begin with she figured, what with the whole vampire thing). 

It was an arduous process, hiking through the pitch-black plains, the two of them stuck together, trying to walk in sync. Their silhouette in the dark was reminiscent of something straight out of the depths of Oblivion. By the time they reached the overhang, the sun was well below the horizon and the temperature well below freezing. Fenn all but collapsed on the ground, leaning himself against the rocky wall in a much too undignified manner for his taste. Not that Kassandra cared. She busied herself gathering firewood from nearby. Normally she would cast a magelight to help her see but it was simply too risky right now. She could surely handle a few stray wolves but if the Gray Host found her or even any Reachmen, she wouldn’t be able to fend them off and protect Fenn at the same time. He was barely fit to fight on a good day and certainly not currently. So for now, she’d have to struggle with what she could see. 

Fenn kept a close eye on Kassandra, his vampiric sight finally making itself useful. He only wished he could make himself of more use but he doubted he could bring himself to walk at the moment. All he could do now was rest up and try to keep an eye out for any potential dangers that Kassandra may not spot. Though with how closely he was watching her, he was about as likely to spot an attacker as she was. He couldn’t help it. Too often he found himself watching her just a bit more closely than he would others. He’d always pass it off as his bloodthirst acting up and take another sip from his flask but that was simply a lie he’d convinced himself was true. 

It was clear as day that the two of them of were... _close_. It’s just that most people avoided hanging around the vampire as much as possible, making Lyris the only one to really notice their connection and perhaps maybe Svana. Though that would likely only be from talking to Lyris. 

Kassandra returned to the makeshift camp with her arms laden with whatever sticks and branches she could find. It wasn’t much, but hopefully it would burn for at least a little while. She piled them up in a pyramid formation before holding her hand at the base which she’d lined with dried leaves and small twigs. With a snap of her fingers, a small flame burst forth, quickly engulfing the tinder. Luckily, magical flame was particularly potent and had a tendency to burn longer than ‘true’ fire. Within minutes, the surrounding air had reached a comfortable temperature.

The way that the rock formation surrounding them was shaped, it would hide them from sight of the lift. Fortunately, most of Skyrim’s more aggressive wildlife was smart enough to stay away from fire. They should be safe for now. 

Kassandra began rummaging through her pack for something, piquing Fenn’s curiosity. “What are you looking for?”

“We need to get you out of those tattered clothes.” She instantly regretted her words and turned away before Fenn could spot the blood rushing to her face. She quickly amended her statement. “I mean, you must be freezing. I’ve probably got something in my pack.”

Fenn was equally thankful for her inability to see his face. His especially pale skin only made his embarrassment all the more visible. And though he would very much prefer his old clothes over what was essentially ragged prison-garb, it wasn’t due to the temperature. 

“I think you’re forgetting a key trait of being undead. I’m always cold.” He tried his hand at some light humor but it came off as unnecessarily morbid, as always. Even so, she still gave him a small smile which he was always pleased to see. 

She hadn’t forgotten. It was impossible to forget just _how_ cold he was. Any time they touched, be it an accidental brush of hands or even just standing a little too close, she was reminded of it. It wasn’t even just that he didn’t give off heat, but he actively radiated cold. More so than any corpse she’d ever gotten close to, which happened to be a few too many for her liking. But Fenn has just been through serious trauma and she wanted him to feel more comfortable in any way that she could. She figured some real clothes would at least be a start. 

“I- I know,” she stuttered, searching for some other reasoning behind her actions. “I just thought this would be more comfortable.” She held out the messily folded bundle, still not directly facing Fenn. 

“That’s... very kind of you. But do you even think they’ll fit me?” He was making a last-ditch attempt to save her from having to help him. He always did this and it always failed. The more he tried to refuse any kind of help, the more she would insist. 

“I’m bigger than you, Fenn.” Kassandra gave him a bit of smirk, just to show there was no offense taken. It was true, she was both taller and heavier than him, albeit barely. She was perhaps an inch or so taller and despite her inclination as a mage, she had a not insignificant amount of muscle hidden under her robes. To be fair, Fenn was also below average height for an elf and lanky as could be. The spitting image of a scholar if there ever was one. Both of them were dwarfed next to Lyris, of course. 

Realizing it was a losing fight, Fenn took the offering gratefully. Kassandra turned her attention toward the fire while he changed, prodding the glowing logs with a stick as if it was suddenly the most important job in the world. 

“I’ll admit, I do feel a bit better.” Kassandra looked up when Fenn spoke. It was surprising what a difference fresh clothes could make. He no longer looked like he was on death’s door (technically for the second time). She noted the hint of a smile on his face, a very rare occurrence for him. It was something she wished she got to see more. However, when Fenn smiled openly, his fangs became very visible, which she knew he was self conscious about. Even now, the light of the fire was enough to notice them, razor sharp and deadly. Kassandra had never feared Fenn in the slightest but on the occasions where his vampire side showed through, she may find herself in awe of him. Noticing the way she looked at him, Fenn’s self consciousness kicked in as it always did and the two of them fell silent for awhile. The only sounds heard were the cracklings of the logs and the occasional call of an owl. 

When the silence became unbearable, she looked up and noticed that Fenn’s expression had changed. He seemed to stare off into the distance somewhere behind her and she could see the tension in his jaw. 

“How are you feeling, Fenn?” Kassandra asked, knelt almost dangerously close to the fire for Fenn’s liking. But she was freezing, and this was about the only remedy. He’d only feel more terrible if she succumbed to frostbite. 

“I’m... managing.” His speech lacked its usual erudite flair, a clear sign that he was, in fact, not managing. 

“Doesn’t sound like it. How long can you go without blood, exactly?” Kassandra looked up at him, her expression hardened by the light of the flames. 

“Under normal circumstances, quite awhile. But given the... _stress_ I was put under... well let’s just say I’ll need that flask sooner than later.” He was seriously beginning to worry that Lyris would not return in time with his flask. He was becoming antsy, the urge to hunt growing stronger by the second. On top of that, his borrowed clothes absolutely reeked of Kassandra, although not in an unpleasant way. Under normal circumstances, he’d rather enjoy it, though he wouldn’t admit to that in his entire eternal lifetime. She smelled of earth and soil from her time spent digging up antiquities as well as the wax she used to seal her letters. And of course, there was a hint of her beloved hound, Aska. But in his current state, the smell was almost... _intoxicating_. Especially with Kassandra sitting so close by. 

“You said that you will only drink from a willing person.” Kassandra was watching him intently now, her tone flattening to show that she was dead serious. 

Fenn nearly bolted to his feet at even the thought of what she was suggesting. “I know what you’re going to say Kassandra, and the answer is _absolutely not._ And we are done talking about it.”

Kassandra got to her feet, surprised but ultimately undeterred by Fenn’s sudden assertiveness. “You’re _dying_ , Fenn. You’re _literally_ starving.” 

He resisted standing up as well, only in part because he feared he may not be able to stay upright. He also didn’t want to escalate the situation further. The last thing he needed was anger fueling his thirst. But he couldn’t let Kassandra be so— so _irresponsible_. He had to put an end to this. “ _You_ could die, Kassandra! When I’m like this, I— I don’t think I could stop myself. And I can’t bear the idea of hurting you...” His voice shifted instantly from anger to something much more solemn. She could see it in the way his expression fell, like he couldn’t imagine anything worse. 

She was angry. At him, at the situation, at Tzinghalis and his whole damned cult for doing this to Fenn. She was angry that Fenn couldn’t see the value in his own life. That he would throw it away so easily because he was _afraid_. She understood the very real danger he posed, but she also knew that the odds of Lyris coming back with the flask in time were slim to none, if she even found it at all. If it was a choice between Fenn certainly dying and her _possibly_ getting hurt, then her mind was made up. 

“Do you _want_ to die, Fennorian? If you can’t save yourself for your own sake, then do it for me. Cause if you die, that’ll be on me. And I don’t think I can deal with that.” She knelt down closer to Fenn, her voice barely above a whisper. A heavy silence hung in the air as Fenn realized that she was afraid of the same thing he was. If he died, she would blame herself. He understood all too well where she was coming from. 

“What I want doesn’t matter,” he said, dropping any semblance left of his calm facade. His voice shook and it nearly broke Kassandra’s heart to see him like this. 

“Don’t say that, Fenn. I promise, I’ll be fine.” She reached out and took his hands in her own, not stopping when she saw him flinch. 

“You’re not in a position to promise that. This isn’t a choice I can make,” he said. He was frozen in place. He feared if he moved at all then that would be the end of it. No more holding back.

“Then you don’t have to.” Before the words were even out of her mouth, Kassandra grabbed at the dagger strapped to her belt with blinding speed. Fenn reached out to stop her, catching her wrist in a death grip as she held the blade mere centimeters from the side of her neck. Her goal was non-lethal of course, but she knew that Fenn wouldn’t be able to stop if she drew blood. 

“Kassandra, think about this! Am I really worth risking your life for?” Fennorian’s arm was shaking with the effort it took to restrain hers. 

“I think my answer to that is pretty clear,” she said through gritted teeth. Fenn’s grip loosened just the tiniest bit at her words and with just a flick of her wrist, the blade’s edge met skin, drawing a thin red line across the delicate skin. 

There was a moment of hesitation as Fenn caught the smell of her blood, all his pain and weariness disappearing instantly as his most suppressed instincts took over. His grip on her wrist tightened again almost painfully, forcing her to drop the dagger but the damage was already done. 

There was a searing pain as Fenn’s fangs pierced her soft flesh, but it quickly dissipated into something else entirely. For the first time since she’d known him, he actually felt _warm_. The hand that had held her wrist was now firmly planted on the other side of her neck, holding her in place. With little room to maneuver in Fenn’s iron grip, Kassandra wrapped both her arms around him in a tight embrace, hanging on as if for dear life. All the while he seemed to radiate heat, almost too much to bear in such close proximity to the fire. Even as her life force was literally being drained from her body, she felt a small comfort in Fenn’s grasp. 

Fenn, on the other hand, was too far gone for comfort. It had been some time since he’d drank directly from anyone and he’d almost forgotten how... _intimate_ it could be. Especially now, here, with her. On more than one occasion the thought of Kassandra’s blood had crossed his mind. He’d wondered what she’d taste like if he ever got the chance, but such thoughts were always dismissed with great shame. He had no reason to believe she’d ever offer, and he would never ask. Yet here he was, and her blood was sweeter than he ever imagined. It lacked the slight bitterness of mer blood. Even the usual metallic tang of most humans’ blood was more subdued in hers. He savored it the way one would a fine wine. It’s taste was as unique to her as her scent, and far more intoxicating. 

Drinking someone’s blood was the only way he felt any real warmth, and that’s what made it so addicting. It made him feel almost alive again. Even amongst his brothers and sisters of Ravenwatch, he was considered to be very mild-mannered in terms of his vampiric nature. He was always especially polite to those that offered their blood and he was often reluctant to take part in anything involving vampires outside of Ravenwatch (though that may just be his naturally pacifist nature). He favored his experiments and his potions instead. 

But this was as far from a normal situation as he could be and it showed. He drank with fervor, his thoughts too clouded to pay any mind to the well-being of his friend. His usual gentleness was gone, replaced with desperation. Kassandra briefly wondered if there would be bruises on her neck and arm, but that was quickly replaced with another worry. 

The warmth that she had quickly grown accustomed to was fading, replaced with a deep ache in her muscles as if all her strength was sapped from her. Her head felt light and darkness danced around the edges of her vision. The only reason she didn’t collapse outright was Fenn’s unyielding hold. When she began to slip, his hand moved to press into the small of her back, pressing her tightly against him. 

“Fenn,” she gasped, barely the strength left to speak. “Fenn you have to stop. _Fenn—_ “ Everything was becoming hazy. She was vaguely aware of the feeling of her nails digging into Fenn’s back, but that only seemed to spur him further. 

Fenn could just barely hear her. The blood was rushing in his ears but her voice was like a single clear bell against the maelstrom. Internally, he was screaming at himself to stop but his instincts persisted. He could feel her grip loosening, her nails in his skin, her faltering breath on his ear. This was exactly what he’d been afraid of. 

Kassandra knew this could happen but she had done it anyway. Oddly enough, it wasn’t her own life she was immediately worried about, but rather what Fenn would do if she didn’t make it. The thought of him tearing himself apart with guilt for an eternity brought a burning sensation to her eyes. She couldn’t stop the few tears from rolling. “Fenn—“ she practically choked on his name, her voice all but gone. 

The pure _pain_ in her voice was enough to finally snap Fenn out of his frenzy. He drew back, still holding Kassandra as she blacked out. Seeing what he had done, he was overcome with guilt and panic. He couldn’t let her die, especially not by his hand. 

“No no no no no, hang on for me, Kas. Just hang on.” He laid her down on the ground as best he could with shaking limbs, placing one hand over the still-bleeding wound on her neck. It had nearly stopped, though that was likely due to the limited supply of blood she had remaining. With his free hand, he reached over for her pack, desperately rummaging for medical supplies. He nearly let out a shout in relief when he found the roll of gauze she kept. He was quick to apply the thick fabric, his hands still shaking violently either from fear or the rush of a recent feed. Likely both. 

With the wound bandaged, all that was left was for Kassandra to wake up. If he’d had his alchemical supplies, there would no doubt be a plant that would snap her to her senses, but that went missing along with his flask. All Fenn could do was hope and pray to whatever gods may be listening. Her breathing was shallow and getting worse. Tears stung at the backs of Fenn’s eyes but his pride was the last thing he cared about right now. He let them fall as he gently placed his hands on either side of Kassandra’s ashen face. 

“Please, please be alright. Please,” he begged, choking out a sob. He rested his forehead gently against hers, as if the gesture would bring back some of her warmth. Just as he was beginning to fear the worst, he noticed the beat of her heart increase almost imperceptibly. It was just enough for him to pick up on with his superior hearing. He nearly laughed in relief a few moments later when she began to stir. 

The first thing Kassandra was met with when she awoke was Fenn’s gleeful smile above her and his hands cupping her face. For a brief second, she was certain that this was some kind of dream and a very pleasant one at that. But then she noticed the redness around his eyes, the blood on his hands, and the soreness permeating her body. 

Despite all this, she laughed. “I told you I’d be okay, didn’t I?” Fenn let out a pained laugh of his own, astounded by her optimism. He pressed his forehead to hers once more, no longer caring to keep his emotions in check. He was too overcome with relief to bother. No one had ever cared for him like Kassandra had, not any mortal at least. And he’d nearly lost her. It would be a miracle if he ever let her out of his sight again. 

Had her body not been so deficient, blood would definitely be rushing to Kassandra’s face. She was happy, though. She tried to raise her arms up to wrap around Fenn but the best she could manage was to place her hands on his arms, her elbows never leaving the ground. Her limbs were heavy as if made of iron. 

Fenn’s senses finally seemed to return to him as he pulled away from Kassandra, removing his hands as well. “Look at me,” he said, his voice returned to its usual lightness. “What theatrics. What am I thinking? Here, let me help you.” He helped Kassandra to a sitting position and once he was confident that she could stay upright, he reached for the water skin next to her pack and handed it to her. 

She took it gratefully and managed to take small sips, her strength slowly returning. She closed her eyes to slow the spinning in her head, not noticing the way Fenn’s expression had fallen. 

“I can’t stay here,” he said, his jovial attitude from just a moment ago disappearing. 

“What?” Kassandra looked up at him, nearly dropping the water skin. 

“I’m truly sorry Kassandra. I won’t say this was a mistake but I can’t risk it ever happening again.” He couldn’t even meet her gaze. 

“Fenn, hold on. I’m still here, you don’t have to do this—“ 

He got his feet, cutting her off. “Don’t try to follow me. Lyris should be back soon. I know you think I’m being dramatic but if this night has proven anything, it’s that my fears are true. If I can’t even control myself around someone that I— that I _care_ about, then I shouldn’t be around people.” 

“Fenn, wait! Just listen to me, dammit!” She dropped the water as she attempted to get to her feet, but it was an impossible task. Fenn caught her as she slipped, gently helping her back to the ground and for a second she thought he’d changed his mind. But his silence proved her wrong as he turned away, heading off to gods-know-where. “Fenn!” Kassandra yelled, her voice not quite back to its usual gusto. “Fennorian!” She let out a shout of frustration, once again trying and failing to get to her feet. 

This went on for some time until eventually she gave up, knowing he was too far away to follow even if she could. She pulled her knees close to her chest, the cold air seeping into her skin as the fire died down to just a pile of embers. She refused the tears that threatened to spill yet again as she silently seethed. She was sure who she was more angry at; Fenn or herself. 

But rather than sit here and continue to sulk, Kassandra decided she would do something about it instead. She would need a little time to regain her strength, but once she did she would not rest until she found Fenn again. 

Pulling herself closer to the fire, she piled up the remaining wood that had escaped the worst of the flames. As the the new warmth worked its way through her body, she dug around her pack for the dried meat she’d stowed away for any long trips. It looked and tasted like leather, but it would get her back on her feet. 

She put a hand to her neck, the bandages sticky with half-dried blood. She winced at the pressure, making no move to remove the bandages. With her luck, it would reopen the wound and she’d be back where she started, this time alone. It would be safer to leave it be for a little longer. 

-

Lyris followed the excited hound through a wooded grove, desperately hoping it wasn’t too late. She’d had to go clear back to Dusktown to retrieve Fenn’s flask, which was no small journey. Unfortunately, the damn thing was empty, most likely spilled during Fenn’s capture. Blackreach wasn’t exactly the best place to find a safe source of blood, so she’d just have to return as fast as possible and hope they could get help in the city. She’d gone straight to the surface, figuring it would be faster than going back through Tzinghalis’s tower, not to mention safer. 

Aska barked excitedly, the path to her master clear ahead of her. The poor dog kept running ahead before circling back to wait for Lyris, who complained about it every time.

“Not all of us have four legs,” she grumbled. Aska merely looked at her with that big dumb grin, waiting for her to catch up. As they cleared the trees, Lyris spotted the clear outline of one of the lifts out of Blackreach off to the left. Surely that meant they were getting close. As if to assure her, Aska barked two more times, somehow even more excited. 

Lyris didn’t see the glow of the fire until it was practically under her. She crested the rock formation to find Kassandra sitting by a makeshift fire alone. Aska practically pounced on her as if it had been years since they were together as opposed to hours. 

Kassandra had been in the process of removing the bandages on her neck, finally feeling ready to be on the move when she was ambushed by her own dog. It was certainly not the first time it had happened, but she was still in a somewhat delicate state and a 100-plus-pound wolf-dog was enough to knock the wind out of her. That being said, she was still happy to see the four-legged fiend. 

Lyris was just about to ask where Fenn was at when she noticed the marks on Kassandra’s neck. A bite mark, clear as day, bruising and purple told her everything she needed to know. 

Kassandra saw the anger that crossed over Lyris’s face and realized what was about to happen. “Lyris hold on, let me explain—“

“No need. I can tell exactly what happened. You stay here and take care of that wound. I won’t be long. He couldn’t have gotten far.” Lyris whistled for Aska who looked up at her expectantly. She was nearly as loyal to Lyris as she was to Kassandra, which is why she was so quick to obey either of them. Lyris held out Fenn’s flask for the dog to catch the scent off of. “Aska, come on! Find Fenn!” 

Kassandra rushed to her feet, using the wall for support. It wasn’t the most graceful display but she managed. “Lyris, hold on!” She yelled.

But the warrior woman wasn’t listening. She was already chasing after Aska who was hot on Fenn’s trail. Kassandra felt about ready to break something. “Why won’t anyone just _listen_ to me!?” She shouted into the wind, the fury in her overshadowing whatever pain she still felt. 

Kassandra doubted Lyris would kill Fenn, but she didn’t want to know exactly how close she’d get. So she followed after them, using Aska’s distant barking to guide her and her endless frustration to fuel her. 

-

Fenn heard the barking mere moments before picking up on the scent. Recognizing it as Aska, he realized Lyris would be close behind. Whether Kassandra was with her or not, he didn’t want to deal with her wrath and he _certainly_ didn’t want to face Kassandra again. He’d been hoping for more time to get away but unfortunately, he wasn’t the fastest man in Tamriel. So if he couldn’t outrun his friends and their glorified bloodhound, he’d have to outsmart them. 

He veered off toward a nearby creek, hoping the water would throw the dog off his scent. He was soaked to the bone up to his stomach, but he could deal with it. It was far less than he deserved. 

After some trekking and the sounds of barking getting further away, Fenn came across a cave entrance and went for it without a second thought. Even if Aska was able to pick up his scent again, he should have plenty of time to find an adequate hiding space. 

-

The cave was damp and full of spiders, some of which were nearly big enough that Fenn feared they may attack but fortunately none did. Surprisingly, there was no sign of anyone having ever taken refuge here, likely due to the veritable labyrinth of passageways. He kept a mental image in his head of the cave’s layout but even he was beginning to lose track. On the plus side, that meant Lyris would almost certainly not be able to find him. By his calculations, he’d looped around several times which would throw the dog off his scent if they even got this close. 

When he felt like he was deep enough into the cave, Fenn spotted a nook in the wall above his head, just large enough to hide in if he crouched. Climbing the slick wall was no easy feat but he managed it somehow. Now he’d just have to wait it out. He’d wait hours if necessary. 

The silence of the cave served only to remind him that he was alone again. He’d just chosen to abandon his only friends, the only people that had ever made him feel welcome outside of Ravenwatch. But he knew he couldn’t see them again, especially not Kassandra. Alone with his thoughts, he couldn’t help it as the night’s events replayed over and over again in his mind. Kassandra’s blind faith in him had nearly killed her, all because she insisted that he was a good person. Yes, he had always only drank the blood of willing donors, but a vampire was still a vampire. Keeping one around was like keeping a pet sabre cat. No matter how well trained they are, it’s only a matter of time before they hurt you. 

Kassandra was the first mortal that didn’t seem to believe that about him. She always believed in his ability to do good, no matter how much he warned her. Even Lyris seemed to truly trust him and she was certainly a woman of honor. He didn’t understand what either of them saw in him. 

A part of him wished he had never left Ravenwatch. He would’ve been content to live out his immortal life running his experiments and pouring over books. But then he remembered the first time he had made Kassandra laugh. He couldn’t even remember what he’d said. Something embarrassing, no doubt. But he remembered the way her face lit up, how her breath hitched, even the dimple that was present on the left corner of her mouth but not the right. And afterwards, Lyris had slapped him on the back, her own laugh booming like thunder. The three of them had been on the road and stopped at a local tavern. They’d drawn quite a bit of attention from the other patrons but for once, Fenn didn’t mind. He felt comfortable around the two women. He could ramble on about alchemy and even if she didn’t understand, Kassandra would always listen. She said she liked it when he talked about his interests.

He didn’t have to cover his mouth when he smiled anymore. The fangs always made people uncomfortable, even those that knew he was a vampire. Eventually he just learned to keep his mouth shut, quite literally. The first time Kassandra had seen his fangs was a complete accident on his part. Lyris had made a rather crude joke and caught him off guard. He laughed and Kassandra made a face like she’d just seen a ghost. At first he worried that he’d scared her, just like everyone else. But instead, she laughed and said she thought he couldn’t smile. Lyris even teased him about always looking so gloomy. Kassandra said he should smile more often and ever since then he’d made an effort to do so. He supposed he wouldn’t have to now. 

He didn’t want to leave all that behind, he truly didn’t. But when he thought about giving up this stupid charade, of going back to Kassandra and begging for her forgiveness (which he was certain she would give), he remembered what she sounded like when he’d finally snapped out his frenzy. There was pain and fear in her voice when she’d said his name, the very nickname that her and Lyris had bestowed upon him. He feared that even if he did go back, he’d never be able to look at her without remembering the moment that he’d almost killed her. Kassandra had wanted him to be selfish so now he was. He wouldn’t go back because he wouldn’t be able to stand the guilt. 

In the depths of his despair, Fenn nearly missed the distant echo of footsteps. At first they were too fast to be a person. Another spider, perhaps? But then came the barking. The harsh sound reverberated off the walls, assaulting his sensitive ears with every echo. He pushed himself as far into the nook as he could, hoping the shadows would work to cover him from the path below. 

Shortly behind the obvious four-legged pattering came a slower set of steps. Lyris, no doubt. She was hardly light on her feet. The sounds of their steps seemed to fade in and out as they got closer and further away. They were no doubt at least as lost in the tunnels as he had been. But as Lyris’s steps approached the room he was in, he began to get nervous. He spotted her as soon as he entered the cavern. She was hard to miss, even without his dark vision. Aska was nowhere to be found but she had to be close behind. 

Lyris made her way through the room painstakingly slow and Fenn feared that she could somehow sense his presence. If anyone could smell fear, it was the eight-foot tall warrior that was hunting him down. He held his breath until she passed into the next corridor and even then he refused to move. It wasn’t until he’d been sitting in silence for nearly five minutes that he began to think he may be in the clear. This may be his chance to escape. Fenn was notoriously light on his feet and he was almost certain he remembered the way out of here. All he had to do was keep quiet. 

He tossed a pebble to the ground below to see if anyone came running at the sound. After several moments with no reaction, he decided it was time to move. He climbed down carefully, his movements slow and precise, all the while listening closely to his surroundings. His feet hit the ground and just as he thought he was in the clear, he rounded a corner and immediately found himself pinned to the wall. Lyris had her hand around his throat, effortlessly holding him up off the ground. Sharp stones dug into his back and Lyris’s grip made it difficult to breathe, but Fenn didn’t fight back. Even if he wanted to, he was no match for Lyris Titanborn. Besides, this was probably some sort of karmic punishment. 

“We trusted you, Fennorian! You just couldn’t keep it together, could you?!” Lyris snarled, but there was pain in her voice too, as if she really didn’t want to do this. She had never used his full name before. Always said it was a mouthful. That’s how he knew she was being deadly serious. A small part of him actually believed that she was going to kill him. 

He grasped feebly at her arm in an effort to alleviate the pressure on his neck but it was pointless. Just as it was pointless for him to come up with a response. He had no defense for himself. Kassandra would later try to defend him, he was sure. She’d say it was an accident or was her fault. But Fenn knew that Lyris would take that with at least a grain of salt. And she definitely wouldn’t listen to whatever he had to say. All he could do was wait for her to beat him senseless and hopefully have enough pity not to kill him outright. 

Before Lyris could throw a punch, however, Aska’s barking sounded again, much closer now. Her footsteps were much slower now. 

“Lyris, stop!” Kassandra’s plea rang out as she entered the room, Aska practically glued to her hip. The dog was providing her support, clearly still a bit wobbly on her feet. “Can both of you just listen to me for— for two minutes?!” Kassandra was exasperated to say the least. “Lyris, let him go. This isn’t what you think it is.” 

“So you’re saying he didn’t bite you?” She asked, her tone rife with doubt. 

“It was my idea, alright!? Things just got... out of hand.” Kassandra looked over at Fenn with a mournful look. Fenn hated the idea that she pitied him, but he was mistaken. Kassandra didn’t pity him. She rarely pitied anyone. She was frustrated and hurt, but not for the reasons he thought. 

Lyris let go of Fenn and he dropped to the ground sputtering and coughing. “Someone needs to give me the full story _now_.” 

“You should’ve left me back in Blackreach. We wouldn’t be in this mess and no one would’ve gotten hurt.” Fenn’s head hung low, unable to make eye contact with anyone in the room. 

A shout from Kassandra startled him to attention. “For someone as smart as you are, Fenn, you sure are denser than a rock!” 

He was stunned speechless. Was she... making fun of him? Or complimenting him? He didn’t understand what was happening, but he wasn’t sure she was taking this as seriously as she should. 

“Just come back to camp and we can talk like _civilized adults_. She wasn’t yelling anymore, but her voice was stern. It was almost less a request and more an order. But Fenn was nothing if not civilized. He’d go back. Besides, this whole escapade was beginning to look like a failure. 

_

The trek back was slow, not least of all because of Kassandra. She could walk, but not at her usual brisk pace. Aska remained stuck to her side, her canine instincts alerting her that something was wrong with Kassandra. After a few stumbles, Lyris tried to help her, even offering to carry the poor girl. But Kassandra had too much pride. So Lyris had to be content with walking by her side, just close enough to catch her if she fell. 

Fenn trailed behind a few paces, remaining silent the whole trip. Lyris would look back at him every so often, but she stopped when it became clear that he wasn’t going anywhere. The warrior no longer appeared angry, now somewhere between apologetic and worried. 

Fenn himself was still searching for a way to apologize. A way that really meant something. But no matter what words he came up with, they all felt hollow. When he looked at Kassandra, the first thing he noticed was the marks he’d left on her. Due to his lack of control, the bite mark was not a clean cut. Luckily it hadn’t bruised too much but it would take time to fully heal. The other side of her neck, however, was a different story. It showed the clear sign of his fingerprints, the bruises already a deep purple that would be difficult to hide. He glanced down at his hands which were still stained a deep crimson even after the rest of the blood had wiped away. He would have to scrub them for some time before they’d be fully clean again, but the image of her blood covering his hands was emblazoned in his memory. 

-

Back at camp, Kassandra all but collapsed by the fire, or what was left of it anyway. The embers barely glowed, their life all but snuffed out. She was fully aware of the frigid air around her but she didn’t have the energy to deal with the fire right now. 

Sensing her companion’s exhaustion, Lyris took it upon herself to restart the fire. Her own Nordic blood burned hot in the harsh weather of Skyrim, but she knew that Kassandra was not so fortunate. Even if she didn’t show it, Kassandra was no doubt freezing, especially with how much blood she’d lost. Fenn stood awkwardly by, looking at Lyris as if he wanted to offer his assistance but she shot him a look that suggested it would be better if he didn’t. So he took a seat as well, mindful of the distance between him and Kassandra. 

Lyris got the fire going again after a short while, no magic necessary. She had learned her fair share of survival tricks. Years of traveling around Skyrim often necessitated them. Once her work was done, she stood up and dusted off her hands. “Something tells me the two of you need to have a talk,” she said, crossing her arms as she looked between her two friends. “I’m going to take a walk. I won’t be too far.”

Fenn opened his mouth to speak but Kassandra beat him to it. “Lyris, you don’t have to leave.” She knew Lyris was being put in an awkward situation but she didn’t want to just send her off. 

Lyris listened for any hint of worry in Kassandra’s voice in the off chance that she really didn’t want to talk to Fenn alone, but there was no such indication. “No, no. I should go.” She stopped as she turned away, letting out a brief whistle and calling for Aska to follow her. The dog looked up at Kassandra as if asking for permission, who then promptly waved her off towards Lyris. The dog trotted off happily with the warrior, unburdened by the emotional tensions of people. 

Fenn piped up as soon as Lyris was out of earshot. “I don’t know how to even begin telling you how sorry—“

“Stop saying that.” Kassandra stood up, shocking Fenn into silence. She wanted— no, _needed_ him to just listen right now. “Stop blaming yourself. If anyone should be apologizing, it’s me. I’m sorry.”

She forced herself to hold his gaze. His expression of shock almost made her smile, but she needed to say her piece. “I made you do something you really didn’t want to. Something you’ve worked really hard to avoid. But I just didn’t know what else to do. I really didn’t. I couldn’t watch you suffer any longer, especially not when there was something I could about it. I was serious about what I said. I... I couldn’t stand to lose you, Fenn.”

Fenn knew her well enough to know just how much she meant what she said. Kassandra wasn’t one to mince words. She was leaving herself open and vulnerable to him once again, first with her life and now with her heart. One could argue that the latter was the more valuable. 

“I... I don’t understand why you’re so forgiving of me.” He truly didn’t. It was rare for him that any transgression was met with anything other than hostility. And after the severity of what he’d done, didn’t he deserve it?

Kassandra’s stance softened, her shoulders falling and the tension in her body relaxing. “Because you’re too hard on yourself, Fenn.” She knelt down to face him, nearly as close as she’d been the last time. 

“I almost killed you.” He was almost whispering now, echoing the point he’d made several times now. 

“On _accident_. I knew the risks. Besides, we almost die like every other day.” A small smile crept onto her face and Fenn couldn’t help but mirror it. “The world is a dangerous place.” 

“I only ever wanted you to be safe.” Since the day they’d met in that cold prison cell, he’d tried to protect her. He was all but useless in a fight, but he’d support her however he could. Whether it was through his limited abilities in restoration or simply as a reassuring presence, he would do something. 

“And I only ever wanted you to be happy.” 

There was a sadness in her eyes despite the fact that she was smiling. Fenn always seemed to deny himself even the smallest of pleasures. He sometimes talked like his life held no value, like he was a burden on others. She just wanted him to know that wasn’t true, but she never knew how to tell him. She wanted to make him happy, to be the one by his side. 

Fenn was aware just how close she’d gotten, or perhaps it was him that had moved. He couldn’t tell. He was too wrapped up in her words. When was the last time he’d even thought about his own happiness? _What would make him truly happy?_

But that was a question he didn’t need to ask. He already knew the answer. 

_Her_. 

Fenn decided that he wouldn’t be afraid for once. He had a choice and he was going to make it. It was perhaps one of the most frightening things he’d ever done, which was saying something. 

His actions were slower and more careful, something much more in character for him than earlier in the evening. He closed the gap between them, his lips meeting hers ever so gently, unsure how she would react. It was brief and restrained, far more that he’d like, but he was already walking a thin line. He pulled back just enough to meet Kassandra’s eyes, hoping desperately that she would reciprocate, to cross that line alongside him. 

She smiled excitedly, hardly able to believe what was happening. She never truly thought this day would come, and she’s be damned if she didn’t savor every moment she could get. She practically crashed into Fenn, wrapping her arms around tightly him as their lips met again. 

More sure of his actions, Fenn’s hands found their way to Kassandra’s waist. He was wary of touching anywhere near her neck again. He still held her as close as he could, soaking up as much of her warmth as possible. 

She could just make out the coppery tang of her own blood on his lips and the faint pinch as she brushed one of his fangs. With every second, she felt his apprehension slipping away. It was clear that they’d both been wanting this. She wished she’d said something sooner. She’d been shoving her feelings to the back of her mind up until now, where they came rushing back like a flood. Perhaps Fenn had been doing the same. 

Kassandra had to pull back first, a burning sensation filling her lungs as they cried out for air. Fenn gently pressed his forehead to hers as she panted, delighting in the breathy chuckle she let out. 

“I never imagined that _you’d_ actually kiss _me_ ,” she said as her breathing slowed to normal. 

“To be fair, neither did I,” Fenn laughed. A true, unrestrained laugh that made Kassandra’s heart flutter. She intended to hear that sound much more in the future. 

She moved to fully embrace him, her hands splayed firmly across his back. Fenn followed suit, holding her tight enough as to make it difficult to breathe. But Kassandra didn’t care. In fact, she’d be happy to stay like this the rest of the night. If she ever had to let him go again it would be too soon. 

“You’re a good person, Fenn. I’m never going to let you forget that.” Kassandra couldn’t help but chuckle again as Fenn’s pointed ears twitched in surprise before turning bright pink. 

“Well as long as we’re making promises, I’ll be sure not to make a liar of you.” 

_

Lyris hadn’t heard a peep from camp, though she hadn’t really expected to. She made sure to stay far enough away so as not to eavesdrop, even by accident. Although it had been some time now and Aska was getting antsy walking in what was essentially a big circle. Lyris figured it was time to head back. 

Apparently their conversation had gone better than she thought it would, as the two were both asleep when she stepped into the clearing. Fenn, ever the light sleeper, woke up immediately at the sound of her footsteps. 

“Oh! Lyris, you’re back!” He quickly dropped his voice so as not to wake Kassandra. “T-this isn’t what it looks like. Or, well yes it is. But listen—“ 

The two had fallen asleep leaning against the rocky wall, practically tangled together. Kassandra’s head rested against Fenn’s chest, her legs criss-crossing his. One of Fenn’s hands was wrapped around her side while the other clasped her own. It didn’t seem the most comfortable sleeping position, but it’s not like they had any actual camping supplies and more importantly, the two were going to be inseparable for awhile. 

Lyris just crossed her arms with a smirk. “It’s about damn time. I was about to lose my bet with Svana. Too bad you both almost died figuring it out.” She laughed and Fenn’s face went red. Kassandra didn’t stir in the slightest and it didn’t look like she was going to anytime soon, not that anyone was surprised. 

The grey sky had faded to almost lavender as the sun readied to cross the horizon. Unfortunately, the company all needed their rest, so they would just have to manage. Solitude could wait just a little longer.

**Author's Note:**

> The way I played the game, the trio's whole dynamic is just 
> 
> Lyris: This is my girlfriend Kas, and this is her boyfriend Fenn.
> 
> (I was only able to settle on writing for Fenn cause I love me some vampire drama)


End file.
